Once upon a time a boy name Jack got hire on as a hand on a merchant ship. He was small of stature so they assigned him the job of lookout. Everyday on his shift he would have to climb up to the very top of the main mast and sit in the crows next and keep an eye one the horizon for sails with the Jolly Roger, the skull and crossbones symbol that pirates would use to strike fear into the hearts of sailors and exert their dominance of the open seas.

After a few weeks at sea the day finally came that Jack spotted a sail, with the dreaded Jolly Roger. So he sprang from his perch, scampered down the mast and as were his instructions, found the captain.

"Captain, captain!" cried Jack, "There's a pirate ship on the horizon! What should I do?"

"Bring me my red shirt," said the captain and prepare to fight.

So Jack did, and the captain donned his red shirt. And the pirates approached and boarded the vessel. Then the sailors, led by their captain, took up their swords and bravely fought off the pirates until those that were still alive boarded their vessel and sailed away defeated.

After the skirmish Jack found the captain and asked, "Why did you ask for your red shirt before the fight?"

"My son," said the captain, "I always wear my shirt in battle. This way if I am wounded my men will not be able to see me bleed and therefore not lose courage."

Jack realized that his captain was a very brave man and his admiration grew. And so as the days and weeks went by every so often Jack would spot a hostile ship, and warn the captain and he came to love those five wonderful words, Bring me my red shirt.

One day Jack fell asleep in the crows nest and when he awoke he found that they were surrounded on all sides by pirate ships. In a panic he slid down the mast and ran to find the captain. When he found him, out of breath he stammered, "Captain, captain, we are surrounded by at least twelve pirate ships."

"Are you certain?" asked the captain.

"Yes, yes. I counted them twice," answered Jack, "What should I do."

And the captain replied, "Bring me my brown pants."

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Four-way stretch

Bring Me My Red Women's Performance T-Shirt